Kateryna cannot talk about her son, Orest, without tears. Her voice trembles with anger as she explains how she found out the news that he had died on the front line in the eastern Donetsk region of Ukraine in 2023. According to the official investigation by the army, he died by a self-inflicted wound, something Katernya finds hard to believe. Kateryna has asked for her and her late son to remain anonymous due to the stigma that surrounds suicide and mental health in Ukraine.
Orest was a quiet 25-year-old who loved books and dreamed of an academic career. His poor eyesight had made him initially unfit for service at the start of the war, his mother says. But in 2023, a recruitment patrol stopped him in the street. His eyesight was re-evaluated and he was deemed fit to fight. Not long after, he was sent to the front as a communications specialist.
While Ukraine collectively mourns the loss of more than 45,000 soldiers who have died since Russia's full-scale invasion in 2022, a quieter tragedy unfolds in the shadows. There are no official statistics surrounding suicide among soldiers. Officials describe them as isolated incidents. Yet human rights advocates and bereaved families believe they may be in the hundreds.
Orest became increasingly withdrawn and depressed after being deployed. Kateryna still writes letters to her son every day - 650 and counting - her grief made worse by how Ukraine classifies suicide as a non-combat loss. Families of those who take their own lives receive no compensation, no military honors and no public recognition.
In Ukraine, it's as if we've been divided, says Kateryna. Some died the right way, and others died the wrong way.
The story continues with the experiences of another widow, Mariyana, who lost her husband Anatoliy, a soldier who struggled with the aftermath of war. Her heartbreak mirrors that of Kateryna, emphasizing the state’s failure to provide support and recognition for families left behind.
As these women form a community to seek change, advocates like Olha Reshetylova, Ukraine's Commissioner for Veterans' Rights, acknowledge the systemic reform needed to support veterans and their families adequately. Her pledge for better mental health support underscores the urgent need to address the stigma and offer compassion to those left grieving in silence.
